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March 14, 2007 ... huh? All right. Two references to Oprah in any way, might be two too many (if'n ya'know what I mean). But hell! That's what this is.So here's the jist. I was at work, it was slow, I happened to be the only one up front, thus I could not leave, and so, inexorably, I found myself leafing through "The Oprah Magazine". (It was either that or the Portland Magazine, and I can only read about north western hipster-doofusi' talking about how awesome THEY are, and how awesome PORTLAND is, and how awesome we could all be if were just more like THEM, before I'm projectile vomiting.) I ran across an advice column, by a woman who claimed to be an expert in financial advice, a one Suze Orman. The advice was some of the worst I had ever read. Not only that, but as a man who takes immense pride in ownership of not just his heart, mind, and actions, but also his "finances", I was, surprisingly, offended. Subsequently, what follows is my rebuttal. I emailed this to the Oprah Magazine. What a HOOT it would be if I actually got a response. I would like to comment on Suze Orman's advice in the March 2007 issue of "The Oprah Magazine" regarding her answer to a readers question on whether or not to combine your finances with your partner/lover/husband/boyfriend, and or, girlfriend. She was more gender specific than I will be, because I do believe the answer to this question transcends gender. I won't go into the specific question asked, but suffice it to say, Suze Orman's answer was as follows: "When a person can't share his financial life, I question his ability to share his heart. The way we handle money is a manifestation of who we are inside, and how he approaches the topic signifies his love and respect for you." I believe nothing could be farther from the truth. Additionally, Suze Orman's advice is both antiquated and misguided. A man's heart is not synonymous with his wallet, or his finances. More to the point, they are completely separate from each other, and personally, the idea that it is suspect for me to require my finances to be separate from whoever I may be in a relationship with is somewhat offensive. Business is business, and love is most certainly love. To be blunt, what is mine is mine. I work hard for the money I have earned. I guide my personal finances with my mind and my intellect, not my heart; concurrently I look for wisdom and depth from my heart when ensconced in the heady aromas and irrational behavior of love. Furthermore, if I had done as Suze Orman advises and combined my financial gains with my ex-wife, I would never be in the position I am today; which is, relatively, financially stable (thanks to many good friends, and a loving family). "Love and respect" do NOT go hand in hand with the way a man chooses to handle his money. Again, and I realize I'm being redundant, but they are completely separate concepts. Now, is every situation the same? Absolutely not. Do things change? Of course they do, we realize this each year as winter turns to spring, spring to summer, and summer to autumn. I am not a wealthy man. I am a struggling writer trying to sell my work. Nevertheless, I have, in my humble opinion, been rather prudent and logical with my finances. I don't have much, but what I do have, affords me the small amenities I have grown accustomed to. But generally speaking, Suze Orman gave her reader some of the worst advice I have ever heard as it regards to finance and what you should or should not do. I would advise any one, male, or female, NOT to combine your finances with your partners', it is both problematic and complicated in the extreme, and will lead to a bevy of pain if things in the relationship go sour, as they sometimes do. [Add Comment] 0 Comments |
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