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July 21, 2006 Passion Passion comes in many forms. I have a passion for my writing and my "will-be" career. I also have a passion for movies and books and music and all things aesthetic. But it's not those kinds of passions that I'm referring to. Simply, I'm talking about the bloody kind, the kind that takes over your body like nothing you've ever known before. The kind that wakes you up in the morning and haunts your dreams at night.Maybe you have not felt this, and maybe you have (if it's the former, well, then I weep for you). But what about that, what about the overwhelming sensation of rushing to her, or him, as the case may be, your torso beating out a need that is well beyond lascivious and way past mere lust, your limbs trembling in anticipation, wanting, yearning, needing to be touched, to be pushed, to be opened like a painless surgery, yet much more invasive; knowing that she is there, waiting, her own body opening to you, accepting you, leaving all traces of shyness and humility behind; laying defenseless and denuded, wanting you as you want her, needing you as you need her; giving in to instinct and impulse and desire? I have been lucky enough to experience this sort of passion; unbridled and unarmed. More than once if the truth be told. I think this sort of thing is rare. I also think it's beautiful. I have never been one to cater to any puritanical ideas about attraction, or passion, or what have you. Actually, I believe that part of the major problem of this country happens to be its puritanical, theologically based, and dare I say, ignorant views on human passion, as well as human nature. My passion is a part of me, just as is everything else from my toes to my idiosyncrasies. I am in control of my body and my mind, however, my emotions have a will of their own. And those are wondrous, remarkable moments when I am allowed to let go of my control and live in the now, encompassed by love, passion, and contentment. I have said it before (and it looks like I'm saying it again) I'm not sure what I'm looking for in a girlfriend/lover/partner. The majority of my long-term relationship was fantastic. There were problems, sure, but there was also passion and security and trust and hope and honesty and (something I find almost as important as honesty) very little drama. I am a very touchy person. I have been since birth. Touch- mentally, emotionally, and physically- is extremely important to me. Touch is an affirmation of all my feelings and a reassurance that we as humans, regardless of our short lives being like a shuddered blink on the face of time, exist in all this chaos. Touch is not so much a want for me, but rather, a need as basic and important as food and water. And the deepest touch, the most intimate, leaves in me a lasting impression, like an indelible tattoo or a hard won scar. Yes, there is pain in a tattoo and a scar, you have to cut and you have to bleed, but there is also beauty, and a feeling that you will be forever marked, forever changed, somehow. [Add Comment] [View Comment] |
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