STAY THE FIGHT! STRENGTH, EFFORT, AND DISCIPLINE. THESE ARE THE WATCH WORDS OF A WARRIOR -- Kevin Michael Vance
Title - Kevin Michael Vance - writer/musician/purveyor of raw materials
STAY THE FIGHT! STRENGTH, EFFORT, AND DISCIPLINE. THESE ARE THE WATCH WORDS OF A WARRIOR -- Kevin Michael Vance
STAY THE FIGHT! STRENGTH, EFFORT, AND DISCIPLINE. THESE ARE THE WATCH WORDS OF A WARRIOR -- Kevin Michael Vance

www.kevacho.com
©2002-2024
Kevin Michael Vance
Writer - Portland, Oregon


January 10, 2014

Tourists...

All right, you fuckin' tourists. It's been a week since I contracted the H1N1 flu virus, and I'm back in the gym. However, much to my chagrin as well as the chagrin of the rest of the warriors who ceaselessly struggle day after day, month after month, year after year, it's that time of year. The time when the "resolutioners" and tourists flock to the gym like carrion birds, putting forth only the dumbest and most limp efforts to increase... what? Strength? Wisdom? Injury? Who knows. And honestly who cares. I've seen more feeble-minded wanna-be's in the past week than I have the entire year. Now, in this day and age where even your phone has enough information for anyone and everyone to come up with a healthy, realistic workout routine, I am still flabbergasted by the ignorance I see. So, in an effort to elucidate, here are two extremely quick guide lines for any and all newbies, and or, tourists.

1. Slow the fuck down! In the last three days I have seen two separate macho-morons doing shoulder raises with ten pound weights so fast one can only assume that they're attempting to fly. Dare I even mention the jerky, back-cracking dumb bell curls? So, again... and with feeling... SLOW THE FUCK DOWN!

2. Don't work every body part in a one day session. Just today I witnessed some malcontent work first his biceps, then his shoulders, then his back, then his chest, then his triceps, then his traps. I got tired just watching him. Work, at the most, two body parts. For instance- I have a pec and tri day, then a bi and lat day, then two other days devoted solely to shoulders and legs.

Come on people. Google is your friend. Use that smart phone, because you ain't that bright.

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