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www.kevacho.com
©2002-2024
Kevin Michael Vance
Writer - Portland, Oregon
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February 04, 2014
People... come on!
So I've been sick. Real sick. Constantly sick. I've been sick four times in five months. It sucks. The unending process of getting sick, laying on my ass for a week, more likely two weeks, then going back to the gym and trying to retrieve the strength and momentum I inevitably lost in the process of getting and being sick, and then... getting sick, again! I've done this process so many times it feels as if I'll never be well again. Forgive me, but I whine.
Yet here I am again in the gym. And lo, what do my eyes perceive as I stride through the glass door - TOURISTS! A bevvy of out of shape, fat. lazy tourists. The interior of my gym is now packed with people who look as if they cued up to an all you can eat nacho's buffet. It looks as if it's the height of the tourist season in yellow stone; corpulent malcontents leaning, not using mind you, but leaning on the weight machines as if they were in a discount grocery store leaning on the slender handles of grocery carts. However, I would like to help. Help all those "resolutioners" out there to be something other than a tourist. As usual, here are two quick things to do that will enable your strength, self esteem, and maybe even your wisdom.
1. Stop leaning on things! For fuck's sake. It is so simple. Take a look around you. Look at the people who are leaning on things; i.e. tables, chair-backs, weight machines, grocery carts, counters etc. They are invariably the people who need to stop leaning on things and rather, use their own strength and balance to hold themselves upright. It's such an easy mind set to change. Simply stop. Stand up straight (like your mother told you). And hold yourself with pride and confidence, not arrogance.
2. Step away from the weight rack! I can always spot a tourist when they grab a couple of dumb bells and then stay planted right in front, or even looming over, the weight rack to do some curls or shoulder shrugs or what have you. Move your fat, stupid, lazy ass! When you do the aforementioned "not moving" you make it impossible for anyone else, namely warriors, to grab weights. Which in essence means your a selfish prick, and or, bitch as the case may be. Don't be selfish! The world does not revolve around you. Step out of your puny, pathetic life, and step away from the weight rack. This is what warriors do. This is what strength and humility look like. And those are always... ALWAYS things to emulate.
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