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www.kevacho.com
©2002-2024
Kevin Michael Vance
Writer - Portland, Oregon
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April 22, 2009
I've been away, but I'll be back...
I am a geek. I have always been a geek (in one form or another). Granted, I do NOT bite the heads off chickens in some sideshow grotesquery, however, that still does not change the fact that I still am, and probably forever will be, a geek. When I was younger, and less able to understand my self, and the ways in which I move sometimes happily, sometimes not so happily through life, I did not rail against, as I did so much as question, my inherent "geek-ness". I did not understand at the time that what you do, does in fact define you. All about me, teenagers were doing things I had never, even to this day, wanted to be an overwhelming part of: keggers, football games, proms, dates. I certainly was not special, far from it, there were a million such pre-pubescent men trying to understand their own unique place in society, but there was something that made me believe I was more apart from things. And to be honest, it was an "apart-ness" that I readily embraced. I liked being on the outside looking in. I enjoyed flying under the radar, and essentially, doing my own thing. To that end, I learned and accepted and finally, trumpeted my "geek-ness".
Now- a soon to be forty year old still struggling to make his dreams a reality, still clinging to the desire to please his parents- I am more than proud to call my self a geek. To me, a geek is a person who innately not only enjoys what they do, but LOVES what they do. Moreover, geeks are strongly passionate people, loving life in the myriad of ways one can, and happier than the majority. Whether you're a L.A.R.P'er, an airsofter, a gamer, a music geek, a band geek… whatever, it truly does not matter. What matters is that as geeks, we do what we love. Period. And it's as simple as that. There's freedom in that, and a joy known only to those of us who live with passion.
I have been away for a while. Living, as well as I can. Loving, with all the combined pieces of my shattered heart, and I will continue to do so… until the day I die.
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