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August 28, 2016 E.L.M.A. Here is an addendum to what I just wrote about in my last "random thoughts", written by my dear friend, and third reader, Andy.Enjoy. "Unfortunately, I think what you experienced here is an example of the human sub-species Estupidus Liberalus Micronus Aggressionus or ELMA for short. The biggest misconception of ELMA is that they are very common in the NW section of Oregon. One might even think they blacken the sky with their swarms while making chirps of perceived micro-aggressions and non-gender specific songs about white privilege. While there is a higher than average number of them in the area, and on college campuses nation-wide, they are merely easier to point out as they are like a male Peacock (oops, micro-aggression there) in that it can’t help itself, but is always throwing their tail feathers in front of everybody’s face causing discomfort, annoyance and the occasional allergic reaction. This sub-species primarily feeds off the self-satisfaction it gets from trying to change people’s language through chirping opinions in passing like bird-songs that only other members of their sub-species want to hear, usually only other members of its sub-species. The reaction they get is all the sustenance they need, except for the occasional jar of asparagus water from Whole Foods. This sub-species is similar to its counterpart the Estupidus Conservatus Gunus Toterus or ECGT. While ELMAs evolutionary path took a sharp left into oncoming traffic, ECGT stepped to the right, and off the proverbial bridge, sinking into the river as the five firearms and ammunition it is carrying are weighing it down, living up to its mating call, “Cold dead hands.†ECGT gains its sustenance from chirping its beliefs about the Second Amendment and uses the annoyance and dirty looks from non-ECGT species when chirping its aggressive territorial call “Open Carry, Open Carryâ€. While ECGT is often seen in nature shows commonly watched by ELMAs (like the Rachel Maddow Show), very few of the two sub-species ever actually meet, as they are so rare. Hopefully I didn’t piss off too many people with that. Seriously, though, for the record, that would piss me off too. Why that person couldn’t just keep walking is beyond me and I don’t think they represent the majority of liberals as people in the Open Carry movement largely don’t represent conservatives." -Andy [Add Comment] 0 Comments |
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