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May 01, 2006 Barton T. Marshall 1936-2006 My uncle Bart died the other night.The last time I saw him was in Colorado, smiling that bright smile of his, laughing freely, making witty quip after witty quip. I didn't know him as well as I would have liked, nor talked to him as much as I should. He was married to my Father's sister, my aunt Charlotte; a member of the "Arizona clan"- family members whose love, respect, and sincerity washes over you like a silent wave of warm water (and they do not lack in the hugging department, either). Bart was an integral part of that clan, and his presence, his intellect, most especially his smile, will be sorely missed. As a timid, shy, and quiet child, honestly, the man terrified me. To my fragile ego and weak pride he was overbearing, a force of nature with which I was not prepared to contend. But as I grew into my own skin, so did he soften and become a man whose thoughtfulness, sincerity, and honesty furthered to bolster my own growing sense of what it was to be a man, what it was to be a human being. Have you ever been with a person- any person, whether they be family or friend- and they ask you a serious question, and when you begin to answer, you see something dimly spark off behind their eyes... and... right then you know, really know, that they are not listening to you? That this person could care less about the answer you were giving to the question they had asked. The thing that always astounded me about my uncle Bart was that when he asked a question, he actually listened... really, really listened to your answer. He never shut off, and he never tuned me, or anyone else, out. He was, in fact, acutely interested in not only my answer to his question, but also, what I said, or even how I said it. I will always carry with me that sense of earnestness and genuine curiosity that my uncle Bart instilled. And humbly, I thank him. I thank him for the laughter and the honesty, for the smile and the concern, all of which went well beyond being sincere. Truthfully, I do not look at my uncle Bart's death as tragic. It is sad, as anyone's exit from this earth is sad. I grieve for the "Arizona Clan", especially loving Charlotte, kind-hearted Donald, and the "always-smiling" twins- Debbie and Diane, and I hope that they might be able to cope with the loss of such a wonderful person. However, uncle Bart led a full, happy, and more often fun life. He died, as my parents tell it, surrounded by friends and family, surrounded by love. We should all be so lucky. Death is an integral part of life, an integral part of us all. There are no guarantees, no time-outs, and no re-do's. Every day on this great big planet, I attempt to live better than the day before. When I fail in doing so, I have to remind myself that it's the effort that counts, not the outcome. You will be missed uncle Bart. And I hope, beyond hope, that this simple attempt at an epitaph might honor you and your life in some meager way; as you so often honored me as well as those around you, with honesty, a clever remark, and a wry grin. [Add Comment] [View Comment] |
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