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June 13, 2004 COFFEE PHILOSOPHY Just a few things, if I may dear readers (or reader, as the case may be). I have mentioned before, on occasion, somewhere in the hidden annals of my archived Random Thought's that I would, indeed, some day write a book entitled, "COFFEE PHILOSOPHY, OR, ETIQUETTE FOR THOSE WHO ARE OLD ENOUGH TO KNOW BETTER". The subject matter seems most obvious enough for me, but in case you need a more clarifying explanation, the book would simply be a list of guidelines; basic protocol, concerning how one should act in life, and truly honorable and decent ways to live one's life.Now, how am I you might ask- an incomplete, bilked and stymied, novelist and screenplay writer yearning for the flimsy, dare I say pallid, validation of publication- privy to such knowledge? It is not altogether farcical you should ask such a probing and legitimate question. Maybe it is my warrior's mindset. Maybe it is a gift. Maybe it is a latent psychokinetic gene, grown strong and omnipotent beyond the advent of puberty. Whatever. Suffice it to say, and regardless of my youth and apparent naïveté, I am sufficiently aware of how one should act in certain situations, if, and assuming you, as well as yours truly, aspire to a higher level of humanity and intelligence, one's intention is to conduct themselves with a certain modicum of honor, civility, and humility. So, as not to put too fine a point on it, and with the immortal words of Sting ringing in our ears: "It's a big enough umbrella, but it's always me that ends up getting wet", let us… get on with it! COFFEE PHILOSOPHY OR ETIQUETTE FOR THOSE WHO ARE OLD ENOUGH TO KNOW BETTER Concerning movie theatres, and the proper protocol needed therein, meaning… THIS IS HOW YOU ACT IN MOVIE THEATRES 1. For all of you ignorant miscreants out there (and there seem to be a great many of you, I am horribly grievous to say), first things first, DO NOT TALK WHILE THE MOVIE IS ROLLING! When you do this, you dishonor your self as well as every single person in the theatre who has paid the exorbitant amount of what I am assuming was hard-earned cash to go see said movie. You are not funny. You are not witty. Furthermore, WE do not care to hear or listen to your opinion. Period. 2. Note: to all would be, will be, and currently tortured parents (this is of special worth mentioning, considering the fact that rational and logic thought seems to be conveniently and irrevocably expunged after two human mammals mate and sire offspring). Parents, if you have a sniveling little "nugget-head" that will not keep his gaping maw shut at home, do not bring him to a movie theatre where, once again, more honorable, forthright folk have spent damn, fine money to watch a movie… NOT TO LISTEN TO YOUR BLOODY WARBLER BLATHER ON ABOUT POKEMON OR WHAT NOT! I am constantly nonplussed by the plethora of parents who think they deserve preferential treatment; i.e. bringing loud, obnoxious brats into a movie theatre, simply because they can perform the necessary, and, I might add, quite common function of procreating. If you cannot afford a baby sitter, stay in. If you want to go see a movie, by all means, wait until you have acquired enough funds to hire a baby sitter, then go see the movie. If you cannot do this, stay at home. Do not fault or hinder the rest of us because you have chosen to breed, and or, are too stupid to leave your atrocious whelp at home! Thank you. Expect more lessons on etiquette and protocol from yours truly in the near, to distant future. [Add Comment] 0 Comments |
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