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Kevin Michael Vance
Writer - Portland, Oregon
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Title: Wolf Creek
Director: Greg Mclean
Year: 2005
Reviewed: April 25, 2006
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Rice Cake-Lowest Rating |
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Wolf Creek has far too many problems for it to stand out against the plethora of, "oops we trusted the wrong Mongoloid, in-bred, hick-boy and now he wants to dine on our corpuscles and invade hastily-made orifices with his Wee Wee" type of horror movies.
Wolf Creek gets a RICE CAKE review.
So… what's wrong with Wolf Creek?
Well, inherently, two things.
First- is the films utter lack of any originality. I mean, barring the fact that it was filmed entirely in the Australian Outback and starring an entirely Australian cast, it is simply another "Texas Chainsaw Massacre" wanna-be.
And two- most importantly- the film is filled with moronic characters making the worst and most irrational decisions of their, soon-to-be-dead, lives. How often have I seen the heroin of a movie (doesn't have to be a horror move… maybe a thriller or a suspense) brain the bad guy and then leave him unconscious and breathing on the floor? I can guarantee you that if I had seen this movie in the theatre there would have been people screaming for the heroin to bludgeon the bad guy until he was dead. For Christ's sake! There was the rotting, and headless corpse, of one of his victims hanging from the walls of his tin torture shed by bailing wire!
Word to the wise, if you ever find yourself in the unfortunate event of being on the receiving end of a very nasty serial killer and you happen to get the upper hand on said killer, do not… I repeat, do not stop bashing him in the brainpan until you see sticky gray matter flow freely from the crater you created in his skull. And that's only one of the many stupid mistakes the heroin makes in Wolf Creek, blundering mindlessly through horror and mayhem, until the killer who, regardless of his apparent lack of mental acuity, finally gets her where he wants her, and she is left screaming, fingerless, bloody, paralyzed, and dieing on a cold concrete floor.
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