STAY THE FIGHT! STRENGTH, EFFORT, AND DISCIPLINE. THESE ARE THE WATCH WORDS OF A WARRIOR -- Kevin Michael Vance
Title - Kevin Michael Vance - writer/musician/purveyor of raw materials
STAY THE FIGHT! STRENGTH, EFFORT, AND DISCIPLINE. THESE ARE THE WATCH WORDS OF A WARRIOR -- Kevin Michael Vance
STAY THE FIGHT! STRENGTH, EFFORT, AND DISCIPLINE. THESE ARE THE WATCH WORDS OF A WARRIOR -- Kevin Michael Vance

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Kevin Michael Vance
Writer - Portland, Oregon


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Title: TRAINWRECK
Director: Judd Apatow
Year: 2015
Reviewed: March 01, 2016

Rating:   Rice Cake-Lowest Rating
[Rating Definitions]

  TRAINWRECK

All right, I know... this makes no sense! Why am I watching the movie "Trainwreck"? Well, not to put to fine a point on it, sometimes we do things for our partners; like watch "Jurassic World", or... "Trainwreck". So, now that that is taken care of. On to the review.

"Trainwreck" is horrible. On a whole, I avoid romantic comedies like I avoid organized religion. They are uninspiring and stupid. I'll break down the "romantic comedy" for you: boy meets girl, boy gets girl, boy loses girl, and boy gets girl back even though boy doesn't deserve girl and she would probably be better served by being with that one person who has loved her her entire life. That is a rom-com. It never changes; except for very rare examples, e.g. "Love Actually" which elevates the genre almost to high drama it's so good. So, now you know the structure. And "Trainwreck" is exactly that, barring the fact that said boy is now a selfish, cruel, self-entitled girl.

Now, I have no former knowledge of Schumer. I have never seen her show, or her comedy. Therefore, any judgement from me comes from this two hour bore of a movie. And Schumer herself is NOT funny. She delivers her lines as if she too is bored, or tired, or suffering from a common head cold. One can extrapolate that "Trainwreck" must be semi-biographical because Schumer, the writer, doesn't even bother to change her characters name to anything besides Amy. Which is weird, and somewhat self-aggrandizing. And her character is awful, just like Seth Rogen's character in "Knocked Up". She has no heart whatsoever. She treats people less than dirt, and then gets upset when others treat her similarly. She is a complete and utter bitch to her friends and family. Basically, the character of "Amy" has no character, good or bad. She's just common trash with a liberal mean-streak who, of course, gets the talented, fun, nice, successful guy in the end. Again, the reason why I hate rom-com's; they're tired and used, just like Amy's character.

I am no fan of Judd Apatow. He has been at the helm of only one, exceptional film- "The 40 Year Old Virgin". But what Apatow seems to miss, is the very thing that made "Virgin" not just good, but great. And that is heart. Steve Carell's character is a good guy. You want to root for him. You want him to get the girl and be happy. Because he's not just a decent man, he's a good man. Sure he has flaws, but he's human. Amy's "character" is not human. And furthermore, we, the audience, do not give a whit if she catches on fire, gets the guy, or is run over by a beer truck. Again, this further illustrates what Apatow doesn't understand, we do not root for human garbage who go through their lives treating people comically badly and then, in the end, are somehow redeemed. That makes absolutely no sense.

"Trainwreck" is just that- a train wreck. And it gets my lowest review possible- RICE CAKE review.
   



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