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©2002-2024
Kevin Michael Vance
Writer - Portland, Oregon
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Title: BIRTH
Director: Johnathan Glazer
Year: 2004
Reviewed: June 24, 2005
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Rice Cake-Lowest Rating |
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Whoee! This movie's all kind's a bad. With a bunch of boring and pretentious people running around doing a bunch of boring and pretentious stuff, "Birth", rivals, "Closer" as being the worlds most, well… boring and pretentious movie of the decade.
I give "Birth" a RICE CAKE review.
Honestly, I don't understand how this type of movie is made. Wait! Yes I do. You see, the premise of "Birth" is actually quite interesting (as is the ending) but the execution of this fairly interesting screenplay was a disaster. First, you take a bunch of stuffy rich people who, I might add, don't act like any human beings, rich or poor, I've ever seen in my life or on television, and throw them into a kind of bizarre situation. Then you have them react to this situation in a manner that not only defies all logic, it also defies normal human reaction.
I know what the director was thinking… "I'm making an art movie." No, you're not! You're making a pretentious movie with scenes that drag on endlessly and carry absolutely no weight or depth of any emotional value. Watching Nicole Kidman mull over the possibility of "bedding" a nine year old because, on one ill-fated evening, he lets himself into their posh New York home and announces that he's her dead husband reborn, in a scene that feels as if it were twenty minutes long, (but was probably more like five) is not good cinema. What it is is art, or rather, cinema for cinema's sake. It's not cinema for story's sake, or cinema for character's sake, or even cinema for idea's sake. It's simply, as the Scottish will tell you, pure shite. It's the kind of self gratifying art that is more like a small child shrieking at their parent and saying, "look what I can do… look what I can do!"
Glazer, Impressed I am not. Next time spend more energy on character, story, even pace, (for Christ's sake) and less on the idea of making a highbrow art movie.
Boring and pretentious… 'nough said.
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