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Kevin Michael Vance
Writer - Portland, Oregon
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Title: SKYFALL
Director: Sam Mendes
Year: 2012
Reviewed: May 17, 2013
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Birthday Cake-Second Highest Rating |
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You know the more I thought about the most recent "Bond" film, the more I disliked it. I even saw it twice, at the behest of my girlfriend who had yet to view the film. "Sky Fall" is muddled and confusing and vague and boring. The fight scenes are pathetic; most involve a stunt man that is obviously not Daniel Craig. Bond's character motivations are indecipherable as he allows the action around him to occur (namely the murder of some saucy slut he seduced on a boat) before reacting. For christ's sake! Bond literally lets this chick die! Not to mention the dude who was assassinated in what seemed to me the most drawn out first act of all time. And then there's Javier Bardem's character, what a clusterfuck he turned out to be. First, there's the hair. (Poor Bardem, he can't seem to make an American movie without someone messing with his hair.) Then there's his "gayness". I felt like I was watching an episode of "Kids in the Hall". I have no issue with the fact that he was gay, but, like a skit off the aforementioned show, why did he play him so "gay". And finally, there's Bardem's character's motivations, which were simply based on revenge... which is fine. But for the fact that Bardem's character's methods were so convoluted and confusing: he bombed the double O's building, then allowed himself to be captured, then escaped, then blew up a train (just because he could), then ran threw a subway station disguised as a guard, then attacked Parliament, then escaped AGAIN, then waited for Bond and "Mum" to run away so he could go to Bond's childhood home and ineffectually attack him AGAIN. Convoluted, confusing... bullshit.
"Skyfall" gets a BIRTHDAY CAKE review.
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