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Kevin Michael Vance
Writer - Portland, Oregon
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Title: THE ISLAND
Director: Michael Bay
Year: 2005
Reviewed: September 19, 2005
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Birthday Cake-Second Highest Rating |
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It just goes to show you- especially concerning the powder-puff piece of film making known as The Island- that two wonderfully gifted actors do not a movie make.
I give The Island a BIRTHDAY CAKE review.
Regardless of how bad The Island is (and it's all kinds a bad); I do not fault either Scarlett Johansen or Ewan Mcgregor for signing on. They both, probably, made millions. They might have even made enough money on this one movie to never, ever have to work again. It's kind of like Vin Diesel. Now I like Vin Diesel, always have. His work in Boiler Room, Pitch Black and the Chronicles of Riddick are some of my favorite. Therefore, that's why I do not begrudge him doing XXX (now, The Pacifier is a different story all together). I read somewhere Vin made 20 million dollars for XXX. 20 MILLION DOLLARS! We would all, despite how poorly written, horribly directed, and heinously acted, have done XXX for 20 million dollars. Not to mention the fact (and to get back to the review at hand) that both Ewan and Scarlett have already distinguished themselves as fine actors. However, it does not diminish The Island's lack of story, character, or dialogue.
The Island is Hollywood shlock, through and through. This is the Hollywood equivalent of Gus Van Sant's independent film Elephant. Nothing means anything. The film is utterly devoid of any true emotion, intelligence, or depth. It is rife with cliché after cliché, and no matter how many explosions occur, no matter how many chase scenes whiz by, no matter how scorchingly hot Ms. Johansen appears, The Island cannot escape the fact that it is a badly directed and scripted movie with little to no heart.
Do not go see The Island. Instead, go down to your video store and rent George Lucas' first film, THX 1138. It is the very same movie as The Island, and yet, it is so much more accomplished and gratifying.
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