STAY THE FIGHT! STRENGTH, EFFORT, AND DISCIPLINE. THESE ARE THE WATCH WORDS OF A WARRIOR -- Kevin Michael Vance
Title - Kevin Michael Vance - writer/musician/purveyor of raw materials
STAY THE FIGHT! STRENGTH, EFFORT, AND DISCIPLINE. THESE ARE THE WATCH WORDS OF A WARRIOR -- Kevin Michael Vance
STAY THE FIGHT! STRENGTH, EFFORT, AND DISCIPLINE. THESE ARE THE WATCH WORDS OF A WARRIOR -- Kevin Michael Vance

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Kevin Michael Vance
Writer - Portland, Oregon


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Title: SYNECDOCHE, NEW YORK
Director: Charlie Kaufman
Year: 2008
Reviewed: May 13, 2009

Rating:   Rice Cake-Lowest Rating
[Rating Definitions]

  SYNECDOCHE, NEW YORK

Movies like "Synecdoche, New York", for the most part, piss me off.

When I write a screenplay, I spend months creating character outlines, and story arcs. I humbly attempt to create interesting characters and imbue them with interesting lives, through which I can thrust them into interesting situations. I strive for passion not perfection, and a sense of conflict and tension that will lead the reader, and ultimately, the watcher, on a journey that will have he or she riveted to their seats.

"Synecdoche, New York" tries to do none of this. It is in fact, pure and utter nonsense. Everything about this film, from the dialogue to the idea to the acting and most certainly the directing, is nonsense.

Take for instance, I could as a writer of dramatic literature, put a scene in one of my scripts where a character rents a home that is physically on fire, allowing the characters to mindlessly meander through the burning home never once commenting on the fact that it is indeed on fire, or the pernicious implications of that undeniable fact. I could introduce characters that have no bearing on the story or the plot, and have them utter lines about gay sex and genitalia for no reason except to do so. I could write hours of completely useless dialogue and have actors react melodramatically to situations that have no influence on -- well, on anything really. I could introduce daughters, remove daughters, draw you in on endless searches with no meaning, age daughters, and basically confuse you with no consequence. I could create a story that made absolutely NO sense, and never answer any dramatic or thematic question.

The point I'm trying to make is I DO NOT do this. I hope my stories inspire something - anything - anything at all: anger, lust, sentiment, nostalgia, excitement, fear; what have you!

My god! Charlie Kaufman's "Synecdoche, New York" isn't even boring or pretentious; two of the worst qualities I find in films. It is, quite simply, ridiculous on a grand scale. More to the point, it's a bloody waste of time. Even the most trite piece of crap- say, like "Twilight"- appealed to fifteen year old girls who shop at Hot Topic. "Synecdoche" has no emotional meaning; therefore, it has no emotional heart. I cared nothing for these characters, nor did I care about their uninteresting, ludicrous situations. This, ultimately, is why "Synecdoche" fails completely as a movie.

"Synecdoche, New York" gets a RICE CAKE review.

What a waste of time.
   



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