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Kevin Michael Vance
Writer - Portland, Oregon
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Go Back To Reviews
Title: RAMBO
Director: Sylvester Stallone
Year: 2008
Reviewed: May 30, 2008
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Fast Food Meal-Third Highest Rating |
[Rating Definitions]
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Finally, or possibly not so final, Sylvester Stallone, and his movie RAMBO.
One thing you should know before I begin is that the "Rambo" movies- specifically First Blood and Rambo: First Blood Part Two- will forever hold a fairly large piece of my bloody heart, in the same way that the band Styx will be indelibly marked upon my mind. You see, Styx, and their album "Paradise Theatre", was the very first album I ever bought; probably with money earned mowing lawns. Twenty Three years ago "Rambo: First Blood Part Two changed my life. Now, in retrospect, it ain't that great a film. The woman playing the love interest is laughable at best, some of the stunts are slightly ludicrous, and yet, there I was after seeing it for the first time, running off to the local Army and Navy store on Higgins Avenue in Missoula, MT and buying myself the biggest, baddest knife, I could afford. After which, it was nothing but torn, black, headbands and combat boots. The effect that the second film had where I lived was astounding. The word Rambo actually became and action word. To "Rambo" meant to capriciously run about the woods. There was even an instance where my good friend Andy Huff and I were "Ramboing". We had clambered down a steep bluff and were hanging out next to the Rattlesnake dam, costumed, of course, in our finest Rambo regalia: knife, headband, torn army shirt, combat boots, muddy jeans… etc. When along came to of the prettiest, and most popular, girls in all of Hellgate high school. Much to our shame and dismay we realized we could not run away, nor was there anywhere for us to hide. So we sat there, all dressed up, awaiting the taunts and jeers that we were positive would come. When the girls did see us, they simply waved, said hello, and asked if my friend and I were "Ramboing".
So here it is, my love still that of a teenager growing up in Montana, "Sly" has decided to resurrect one of my favorite characters in the movie "Rambo". Now is it any good? It's all right, the gore and the violence is some of the most spectacular gore and violence I have seen in the past decade. The story is okay, passable by "Rambo" standards, and simple enough to keep me engaged. The dialogue is brilliant and curt in some areas, overly sappy and dramatic in others.
Suffice it to say, I give "Rambo" a mid to low FAST FOOD MEAL review.
I think the biggest problem with "Rambo" is, strangely enough, Rambo, or rather Sylvester Stallone. "Sly" delivers his lines well enough the problem is the way he looks - the old man is so pumped up on steroids he looks like he's about to explode; which in my eyes is the antithesis of what the "Rambo" character is about. "John J. Rambo" would NOT take steroids, albeit Sylvester Stallone obviously does. I appreciate the effort it took for Stallone to get into that kind of shape, but it jars the mind and the vision when you're staring up at Stallone and it appears as if his neck is going to over expand and envelope his head, or his bottom lip will suddenly fall off.
The other thing I wanted to see, quite honestly, was an older John Rambo, still a "bad ass", but an older "bad ass". I didn't want to see an older acting trying to recapture the fluidity and grace he had in his youth. I wanted to see the pain of age in Rambo's eyes. I wanted to hear the pops and creaks in his joints. I wanted to see him massaging old and tired muscles. Basically, I wanted Stallone to take the character a little deeper as he had in the first film "First Blood".
So -- rent "Rambo". It harkens back to what might appear as simpler days with no internet or cell phones, where action movies were fuckin' ACTION MOVIES with blood, and violence and bad language, and when men were men who knew how to kill with extreme prejudice. Hell yah!
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