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©2002-2024
Kevin Michael Vance
Writer - Portland, Oregon
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Go Back To Reviews
Title: The Matrix Revolution
Director: Wachowski Brothers
Year: 2003
Reviewed: April 21, 2004
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Rice Cake-Lowest Rating |
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Now, of course, we have Matrix Revolution.
What can I say? It sucked, for lack of a much better word… it also, gets a RICE CAKE review.
Compared to Reloaded, Revolutions is equally dumbly audacious, equally inexplicable and bewildering, equally poorly written, and worst of all boring.
Okay, just as I explained in my review of Reloaded that you don't intentionally write slow-paced, inactive expository scenes, I am (in all my ironic humility) going to tell the Wachowski brothers what not to do in a third act. INTRODUCE NEW CHARACTERS! i.e.; the Train Man. Imagine you are one of the "brothers". You are writing an obviously high-concept, potentially confusing science fiction trilogy. What don't you do? INTRODUCE NEW CHARACTERS IN THE THIRD ACT! This, by every decent and intelligent sense as a writer, is hackneyed, amateurish and sloppy. Your third act is when you tie things up. Your third act is when everything comes to a head, whether it be a tragedy, comedy, action/adventure, fantasy… or what have you. Your third act is when you explain everything that wasn't explained in act's 1 and 2, and end the story. You don't… INTRODUCE NEW CHARACTERS!
The special effects were utterly superfluous, because at the time I cared not for any character in the movie. They (the brothers) were obviously so worried about topping themselves and doing better than they had in their ground-breaking movie The Matrix, at least as it concerned the special effects, that they took their second and third cues from the infamous slacker/hack George (I have more money than you) Lucas. The acting was ludicrous; even from such noteworthy stars such as Carrie-Anne Moss, Hugo Weaving, Laurence Fishburne, and Monica Bellucci- whose own voluminous breasts, spilling obtrusively out of her form fitting corset, could not even peak my interest in this asinine, ridiculous, and absurd film). By the time Neo became Agent Smith and then Agent Smith enigmatically became the Oracle and the Oracle talked with the Architect about shit I do not know, nor would ever care to know, I was spilling beer on the floor in an attempt to reach the popcorn bowl so I could lob liberally buttered kernels at the television screen in my slightly drunken rage.
Avoid this movie. And while you're at it, avoid Reloaded too.
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