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©2002-2024
Kevin Michael Vance
Writer - Portland, Oregon
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Title: IN THE CUT
Director: Jane Campion
Year: 2003
Reviewed: January 24, 2004
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Rice Cake-Lowest Rating |
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In the Cut, the movie where cutesy Meg Ryan shows her "Full Frontal" talents (which, boys and girls, ain't much to write home about) is some of the worst untalented and uninspiring bunch of shit I have seen in a long time.
Therefore, it gets a RICE CAKE review.
This movie is like having a Vasectomy, and then living with the pain and discomfort for three weeks afterward. Meg Ryan literally staggers through this film with as much sex appeal as an anatomically incorrect mannequin. The script is horribly stunted. No one has anything of worth to say… EVER! The pace is laborious and nauseatingly slow. The "shaky camera" movements have been done to death, and when you have such a putrescent pile of decaying flesh, as this movie is, it feels as if the cinematographer added the jerky camera movements to give life and action to a corpse. There is absolutely zero tension. You care nothing for these characters, nothing!… no feelings of ill will or indignation, nor any love or affection. Watching them makes one wish that they would die, so you can go about your day, and forget that such crappy piece of detritus was ever made, or ever financed, or that the screenplay was ever bought and then made into a movie. (All right, so I'm a little bitter that I haven't sold anything… yet!)
To be honest, without ever knowing it, I could have told you that this was written and directed by a woman; albeit felt like a gay woman trying to express a heterosexual lifestyle, a lifestyle that she was ignorantly and completely unaware of. This simple fact- the fact that the movie was made by women- in and of itself is irrelevant and would not matter, except for the underlying tone that the director wanted me to know that it was directed by "her"… i.e., a woman. The sense that this was some weird, disjointed and amateurish statement about female sexuality was palpable. It made me wish that some other, more talented woman director had done the movie. People simply, and obviously, do not react, and or, act, like they did in this movie. There was not one ounce, not one sliver of realism… anywhere. More so than the overtly "I am woman, hear me roar" vibe… it felt like a bunch of writers, who happen to be virginal, writing about being a women and having sex and being in a relationship with a man, and yet never knowing what those things were like.
Bad! Bad! Bad!
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