STAY THE FIGHT! STRENGTH, EFFORT, AND DISCIPLINE. THESE ARE THE WATCH WORDS OF A WARRIOR -- Kevin Michael Vance
Title - Kevin Michael Vance - writer/musician/purveyor of raw materials
STAY THE FIGHT! STRENGTH, EFFORT, AND DISCIPLINE. THESE ARE THE WATCH WORDS OF A WARRIOR -- Kevin Michael Vance
STAY THE FIGHT! STRENGTH, EFFORT, AND DISCIPLINE. THESE ARE THE WATCH WORDS OF A WARRIOR -- Kevin Michael Vance

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Kevin Michael Vance
Writer - Portland, Oregon


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Title: MIDSOMMAR
Director: Ari Aster
Year: 2019
Reviewed: November 01, 2019

Rating:   Rice Cake-Lowest Rating
[Rating Definitions]

  MIDSOMMAR

Okay. All right. Who the fuck is Ari Aster? And where the fuck did he come from? He's like the J.J. Abrams of horror.

Sorry, I felt like I had to vent.

Ari Aster believes he is brilliant. He's not. He believes he is an auteur of horror cinema. He ain't. He believes he can do no wrong. He can... and has. I hated "Hereditary"; thought it was hackneyed trite shite. And was discouraged at how many people found it scary. Now we have "Midsommar" which, I might ad, is over two hours long. The plot is tedious and predictable. The horror is mediocre at best (once again, just as in Hereditary, Ari Aster thinks naked old people is scary). It is self-indulgent to the point of being masturbatory. It's attempted creepiness just comes off as laughable. (Twice now I've sat down in front of an Ari Aster "horror" movie and had to bite my lip from laughing.) The characters are dumb and uninspiring so that you couldn't give one whit whether or not they live or die. And again, this movie is being lauded, just as "Hereditary" was, as something brilliant. God damn it! "Midsommar" sucked! "Hereditary" sucked!

What the fuck's going on?

"Midsommar" is bad. And it's two and a half hours of bad. That's why it gets, deservedly so, my dreaded and lowest RICE CAKE review.
   



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