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Kevin Michael Vance
Writer - Portland, Oregon
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Title: THE GREEN INFERNO
Director: Eli Roth
Year: 2013
Reviewed: April 07, 2016
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Rice Cake-Lowest Rating |
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Admittedly, I was NOT expecting much, if anything, from Eli's latest attempt at horror. What I got was even less than that. So far the only movie he has made that I have enjoyed was "Hostel". Mostly because I loved the premise; I do think a bunch of rich pricks would pay money to torture and murder people. That to me is not far-fetched at all. But "Green Inferno" might be the worst horror film I have ever seen. And I have definitely seen my share of horrible horror. With laughable acting, laughable plot, and ridiculous dialogue, it muddles its boring way for upwards of 45 minutes before any horror of any kind ensues. Before that you are waiting and wanting these ignorant college kids to crash into the Amazon and be gobbled up by cannibals. And when they do... what a disappointment. The gore tries really hard to be GOREY, but again, it's an unmitigated failure. They've done better gags every season of "The Walking Dead" than anything seen in "The Green Inferno". Not to mention the fact that Roth wants "Green Inferno" to SO BAD be "Cannibal Holocaust" it's pathetic, because its attempt is juvenile at best.
Eli Roth's pathetic excuse for a horror film get my lowest review, a RICE CAKE review.
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