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Kevin Michael Vance
Writer - Portland, Oregon
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Title: YOU'RE NEXT
Director: Adam Wingard
Year: 2011
Reviewed: July 20, 2016
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Rice Cake-Lowest Rating |
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Let's be honest here, "You're Next" is one of the worst horror movies I've seen in decades. I don't care what people think on the internet or that it got a 75% approval rating on Rotten Tomatoes. It's bad... and I mean REAL bad. It tries to be everything to everyone, and fails miserably at doing anything right. It tries to be a drama- fail. It tries to be a comedy- fail. It tries to be horrific- fail. Barring the lead, an actress by the name of Sharni Vinson, the acting is so pathetic it is not comical, simply just bad. The gore is laughable, but again, not because it is supposed to be comical, but because it is simply awful. The dialogue and pacing of the movie is quite obviously due to its low-budget standards: scenes are held too long, the build-up is way too lengthy, and the script is asinine. We watched a little bit of the behind the scenes footage (until we realized, why the fuck are we watching this?), and the movie was made by a bunch of hipster doofusi'. It's obvious, again painfully, that they were attempting to make a movie that was a homage to some of the classic 80's horror films. However, they either didn't pay attention, or didn't want to pay attention (as Melleinials' are more want to do than not). And the inexorable end result is a horrible, dismal facsimile of a classic horror movie.
Remember, just because you're in the minority doesn't mean you're wrong. Rotten Tomatoes can suck it, "You're Next" is bad. That's why it gets my lowest review, a RICE CAKE review.
There are great modern horror movies out there: Voices, The Babadook, Oculus, The Woman in Black; just to name a few. Avoid "You're Next" like herpes. Instead, take a gander at any of the movies mentioned above.
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