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Kevin Michael Vance
Writer - Portland, Oregon
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Title: THE BLING RING
Director: Sofia Coppola
Year: 2013
Reviewed: February 03, 2014
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Rice Cake-Lowest Rating |
[Rating Definitions]
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Once again, Sofia Coppola, has chosen to do a movie about Hollywood. And once again, she has failed to deliver anything more but vacuous chum. Her last one, the movie "Somewhere", is up there with one of the worst movies ever made. A film involving the boring existential crisis of a pampered, pretentious, and coddled Hollywood actor. With no script and not one likeable character the movie is a masturbatory glorification of the wealthy and the well-to-do. The one before that, "Lost in Translation" has three things going for it. Number one- Bill Murray. Number two- a good script. Number three- very likable and relate-able characters. "Lost in Translation" is a great movie, which makes the inane and worthless effort of "Somewhere" somewhat of a mystery.
Then there's "The Bling Ring". What does this film have going for it? Well. Nothing, really. Unless, you happen to be a moronic young adult with the intellect of a walnut and the inclination of kleptomaniac. There's not much script here either. In point of fact, I do believe that most of the more memorable lines were not written, but rather taken from interviews with the actually people upon which the movie is based. Nor is there one likeable character. As stated before these people are malcontents who steal; with no burning passion or desire except fashion, or the lack thereof. And then there's the surreal behind the scenes footage on the disk with some idiot from TMZ and Parris Hilton herself. The latter being strange and surreal in the sense that she appears somewhat proud that these retarded, wayward youths picked her home to steal from and ransack. Bizarre.
Suffice it to say, lacking any real script and likeable characters "The Bling Ring" is a facade of reality, a Dixie cup of depth, a thimble full of profundity. Therefore it gets my lowest review... the dreaded RICE CAKE review.
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