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Kevin Michael Vance
Writer - Portland, Oregon
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Title: TRANSFORMERS: AGE OF EXTINCTION
Director: Michael Bay
Year: 2014
Reviewed: November 05, 2014
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Rice Cake-Lowest Rating |
[Rating Definitions]
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As I've stated on this site before, I have no issue with some Michael Bay movies. I loved "Pain and Gain", and also loved the 2007 "Transformers", and was strangely amazed that Bay could make an entertaining, hilarious, popcorn-romp out of a toy. However, this latest incarnation is pure, unadulterated crap.
I like Mark Wahlberg as an actor. True, I don't think he stretches much, but that's also part of his charm and his intelligence as an actor. He inherently knows what he can do, and he does it very well. Which makes his character in "Transformers: Age of Extinction" all the more pathetic. It's almost as if Bay was trying to recapture LaBeouf's bumbling charm, Wahlberg's decidedly masculine charisma, and the endearing love of a father... all in one, and in so doing, failed to capture anything at all. Not to mention the painfully forced rivalry between his daughters older boyfriend, played like an annoying "Karate Kid" villain by pretty-boy Jack Reynor. Everything was so forced. And the entire time I'm expecting Wahlberg to get in this arrogant kid's face, but of course that never happens. It needed to happen for us, the viewer, to feel some sort of legitimacy, even empathy for Wahlberg's character. But it doesn't, and this is the main reason why the movie fails. If I don't like, hate, or at the very least, am entertained by the characters how am I supposed to give a shit about what happens to them? And at an UNGODLY run time of, and I kid you not, almost 3 fucking hours... I HAVE to care about the characters. Then there's the incessant, over-processed, transforming... so iridescent, I felt I was going to throw up.
"Transformers: Age of Extinction" is bad. That's why it gets my dreaded RICE CAKE review.
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