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Kevin Michael Vance
Writer - Portland, Oregon
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Title: THE EXPENDABLES
Director: Sylvester Stallone
Year: 2010
Reviewed: November 27, 2010
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Fast Food Meal-Third Highest Rating |
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So, I saw it. And with all modesty and honesty, part of me really liked it, and part of me did not. This is not a smart movie - obviously. For Christ's sake some reviewer deemed it a "man-gasm". Yeesh! The parts I enjoyed were the parts that harkened back to the strictly B-action flicks of the eighties, the unabashed glory of gratuitous violence. The parts I didn't like were the utter ridiculousness of some of the situations, the lackluster script and story, the paper-thin characters, the cornball quality, if you will. Some of the dialogue was fun, again a tribute to the days of Arnie and Sly, but some of it was just damn stupid. However, and in writing this I realize I might be contradicting myself, I fully understand that the movies inherent cornball quality is after all, part of the whole viewing pleasure. Essentially, the ability and wherewithal to blow shit up and then laugh about it after. On the plus side, some of the action scenes are great (this is, after all, an action film), no one can fight that long, or take as many punches and kicks to the body and face and remain standing, let alone breathing. But who cares? It does what it claims to do -- kick ass.
So, The Expendables, gets sort of a low FAST FOOD MEAL review from me. It's fun, but don't take it seriously, at the very least it has more balls than movies like The Losers and Wolverine. The Expendables knows what it is, and there's something glorious in that. On a final note, I love Sylvestar Stallone- always have. But he truly is getting too old to be doing this sort of movie. I applaud the effort it must have taken for him to get into the kind of shoulder-straining-arm-ripped-chest-pumped shape he was in, but, as much as it pains me to say it, I think it's time he hung up the combat boots, and put the ten inch bowie knives in the sock drawer.
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